How Webby is Michael Lohan?

Would celebrities exist without a complement of hangers-on or would they, like the ephemeral dreams clad in leggings they are, simply evaporate from lack of adulation? I posit that the varied remoras which populate the ocean of celebrity as assistants, spouses, paparazzi and skeletal stylists may be just as important as the big fish to which they cling. Which is why today we will take a look at little fish Michael Lohan's latest project, a Web site.

There's no need for you to personally surf on over to Lohan's -- father of erstwhile Disney darling and questionably sapphic deejay aficionado Lindsay -- site yourself. Though it does have a certain DIY charm, the automatically launching soundtrack of Don Henley's "Dirty Laundry" is enough to make this site a no-no for workplace surfers. But, if you insist on having a peek. You'll need it anyway if you plan to tune in tonight for Lohan's first "LIVE video blog/chat with you guys." You guys will apparently be talking about a topic near and dear to Lohan's heart: "How the media, press and public opinion affect those in the spotlight." (After taking part there, return here to comment on MY first reactionary thought to his first LIVE video blog/chat with you guys: Michael Lohan's talent for creating a spotlight in a black hole.)

Moving right along, it quickly becomes evident that Lohan has created this site as way to get out his messages without having to go through the pesky filter of the dread media. Or, more likely, because the New York Post was, like, so over posting his nasty-grams to Samantha Ronson that the former jailbird had no choice but to go solo. To that end, he's posted a few items already that purport to "set the record straight." Being a big fan of delusional, circular logic, I particularly admired this passage:

After reviewing some of the comments on this blog and even others, let me say that this website is NOT about Lindsay or Samantha. I have no intention of disclosing any information or feelings I may have about either one of them unless it is in defense of what they or one of their "mouthpieces" might say about me. If in fact, one of their "sources", so called "friends" or "spokespersons" have something to say about me, then I guess we will just have to open up discussion on them as well.

That post was filed in category "Lindsay Lohan."

Surrounding the meat (ie nasty-grams to LiLo and SamRo) are the usual self-promotional links to be found on this sort of site: A listing of Lohan's upcoming appearances (there are two) and a video player featuring Lohan's Diddy like video blog musings, in which Lohan says his site (again, MikeLohanonline.com) is not about discussing himself or his family.

There are also links to sites that Lohan likes -- one that features a posting about his new Web site (maybe he'll add Celebritology now?!?), another marketing site that doesn't seem to work and -- because he is a man of conscience, a site calling for the abolition of child slavery.

We'll be watching.

Source - http://voices.washingtonpost.com